Almond Milk to Mickey D's

Black coffee and green tea. Black coffee....green tea. Over and over is all myself and many I know try to order on a regular basis. It's 'the healthy way,' but the boring way, and sometimes you need more kick. Something more exciting.  Like a sweet milky iced drink but minus all the additives and sugar that come along with the lattes, the frappucinos etc. Every boxed almond milk, coconut milk, rice milk, soy milk, hemp milk, whatever milk has added stuff in it. Starbucks, Coffee bean, Petes, and most of the other mainstream coffee shops use these milks. I did come across a great spot once at the Manhattan Beach Pier that made their own milk and soaked their almonds overnight. Then they added a little date and agave to it. It was quite amazing but along with homemade came a price. $8.50 for a small tiny tea with almond milk.  Umm what?  I could have sworn my dinner didn't cost that much last night and there was alot more protein in it than the almond milk I had.  
Today a friend and I chose Le Pain over Starbucks or  the other $8.50 spot. I designed my drink myself. I knew this place had organic almond milk. I ordered some and asked to please pour it over ice.  Then I asked if they could throw a Rooibos tea bag in there as well. I could add some agave after and control how much goes in with some cinnamon and have a drink of my liking without all the added syrups, sugars, carrageenan, guar gums, etc. It seemed brilliant. 


It shocked me watching the barista's faces when I requested the drink.  They were confused and asked a lot of questions. 

Somehow when you order a grande double shot latte with 4 pumps sweetener, soy milk vs. regular and whip cream they get it. When you ask them for some almond milk over ice with a tea bag they just stare at you. The girl working behind the cashier and the person next to them. Everyone is staring. "So like, do you want the tea seeped? Hot?  Then half ice with some almond milk? Or, wait...do you want a hot tea with ice?"  Then I blank stare. "No. Just almond milk poured over ice with a tea bag. Thanks." What was so hard about that to understand? Was it that weird?

Once time I went to McDonalds drive thru (Oh shush you've been too) because I was craving chicken fingers. I asked if I could have two chicken fingers by themselves, not the meal, with an ice water and yellow mustard packets. If you are an anti-sauce freak like me, all fast food sauces are filled with junk. Mustard packets are the only sauce at these places whose ingredients will say: Water, vinegar, mustard seeds, salt, turmeric.  "Hi miss, so you want a chicken fingers meal, ok great, and what drink?" 

😐..."No, thats not what I asked." I tell them again. 

"Oh. Thats it? Are you sure? Would you like to try our big mac, chicken nuggets, french fries, milkshake or vanilla cone?" 

Because you know, just in case I forgot to order more... I wonder who actually says "Oooo cool yes please, I'd love all those too actually! Thanks!" 

I guess simple intentions can be construed as the opposite of simple.  

Go figure.